Getting Past Things

I’ve spent today in bed. There are some streams of light filtering through the window, I can hear the palm fronds clashing against one another and the sounds of birds enjoying the sun and warmth. It’s honestly kind of blissful and relaxing.

While I could have been enjoying this all day, for much of it I was annoyed at my situation. We had big plans for the weekend – one of the few nights without the little one and a nice valentines day dinner, followed by a weekend drive up the coast to enjoy some camping for the three-day-weekend. Of course none of that is happening, thanks to an awkward lift of a bbq propane tank, which sent me straight to the ground. A shooting/spasmining lower back pain that greets me whenever my back is in the wrong position (which is most positions). I’ve spent today mostly laying flat – and the few times I’ve had to leave the bed, I’ve litterally dragged myself across the floor. We won’t even go into how I’ve used the restroom.

But in bed, lying flat on my back, I’m not in pain. Most of my pain early one was just caused by the abandonment of our plans. I was so looking forward to getting out on a little adventure, doing a little trail-running, and exploring new places. Instead, I’m stuck here in bed, with the birds and lovely sounds of the wind through the trees.

Earlier in my life I would dwell on the dropped plans, and it’s definitely still my natural tendency to do so. But over the past ten years or so, when things like this arise, I have been concsiously trying to get better on not dwelling on the misfortune, but instead focusing on what is good. It’s a challenge, but I’m proud of myself for the progress I’ve made.

And these birds that keep singing out my window are lovely.